I think I have realized there are 2 layers (at least) of balance – internal balance which the one you own that you can directly impact by the choices and actions you make and external balance the energy and choices of others that impact you regardless of your actions.
Examples of the external balance layer might be the boss with unclear goals and expectations on the team, the manager who is always changing direction, the family member who never has their act together or the friend who is perpetually late.
Let’s talk about the manager who is always changing directions creating an unpredictable environment for the team. On one level you have certain degree of control over how you respond when a change comes up, “I was working on XWY and changing direction now will cause Blah to happen”. On other level you are forced to react to the situation, maybe its working late, changing your entire project plan, or hiring new vendors and depending on the situation it might cause you stress and anxiety to never know when a change might occur – which contributes to feeling out of balance, regardless of how many boundaries you set or how accountable you are to yourself.
So then, because this is reality and these types of people will always be in our lives, how do you find balance when those around you are imbalanced? What can you do to mitigate the stress this type of external layer plays in your life?
I don’t have the answer. Sure some of it is about confidence and clearly articulating a response in a way that is not defensive or wont get you fired, but outside that I’m at a loss. What comes to mind is the game “hot potato” and finding the way to develop some sort of skill that lets you catch and throw the wonky mojo as fast as possible so you don’t get burned by a potato that is not yours.