Category Archives: A1Transfere

How to Manage Energy at Work

090717_EnergyCommon themes in the workplace that zap energy from a person or a team.

By Jae Ellard, Founder, Simple Intentions

What gives you energy at work? Odds are strong an answer quickly sprang to mind. Now consider what drains your energy? Likely a feeling came to mind before the root cause of that feeling did. For many people gaining clarity around what drains their energy and how to redirect it can be a tricky. Having worked with thousands of people in over 50 countries teaching the skill of awareness, I’ve noticed five common themes in the workplace that transcend geography, gender and job type when it comes to zapping energy from a person or a team.

Drama. You might be attracted to it or you might create it – either way the purpose is to use it as a distraction to avoid unpleasant issues. As a way of dealing with fear or uncertainty (or procrastinating dealing with it), it’s common for people to invent “stories” to fill in missing details in an attempt to create certainty. It’s ok we’ve all done it. Next time you see it happening, make an attempt to “see the story” and go back to the facts. Ask yourself or the people involved “is this true?” Asking this question can interrupt the downward drama spiral that can kill productivity and morale.

Perfection. This is the belief that there is no room for mistakes. When people feel they are working in an environment where their best is not good enough, it can not only be demoralizing to each individual but impair innovation as people will avoid taking risks if they believe there is no room for mistakes. The way to redirect this energy drain is to know what you know and own it as equally as you know what you DON’T know. Letting go of the idea of perfection and being open to failure is how we learn.

Control. This shows up as a compulsive desire to know everything and control outcomes. (Also known as micro-managing.) When we employ controlling behaviors likely it’s coming from a place of fear – either of the outcome not going our way or fear of being “exposed” as not good enough – both of which can deplete energy by focusing on incomplete or false data (aka drama). The way to get the energy flowing is to allow the natural flow of action to occur, take a step back and reflect when something feels forced. Releasing control doesn’t mean you stop caring, it means being able to see things from many points of view and assuming positive intent from all involved.

Boundarylessness. This use of energy creates a state of confusion in knowing what is and what is not acceptable, comfortable and tolerable. When we don’t know the limits we don’t know where we are in relation to them. Setting and communicating boundaries, individual as well as team, helps redirect energy by creating clarity for all parties involved about what is and what is not expected and allowed.

What’s not working. The habit of focusing on what is wrong, flawed or not working is downright exhausting. More than that, if a person stays in that space too long it can lead to a state called hyper vigilance, which creates feelings of helplessness and deep anxiety. Recognize and celebrate what is working, start each day by reflecting the “wins.” This doesn’t mean avoid or ignore the issues and challenges that need to be addressed, rather start with what’s going well first.

There is no right or wrong way to shift the energy of a person or a team – what matters most is the willingness to see when energy is low and the courage to redirect it.

FacebookLinkedInShare

Quiz: Do You Feel Empowered at Work?

081017_QuizDo you operate from a mindset of empowerment or disempowerment? Take your work pulse with these seven true or false questions. 

By Jae Ellard, Founder, Simple Intentions  

1) True or False: “I have a feeling of clear direction and connectedness to the goings-on around me and understand how my work connects to the mission/purpose of my organization.” 

If you answered True: You are likely on the path to feeling a sense of overall empowerment. 

If you answered False: It might be time to reexamine the mission/purpose of your organization and explore more deeply where you feel connected or disconnected and begin to seek where there are paths for alignment. If you answered False, it doesn’t mean you have to quit your job, rather, pause and be willing to see it with new eyes. 

2) True or False: “I tend to feel as if time, resources, and support are scarce to do what I’m asked to do.” 

If you answered False: You likely feel that you have what you need to reach your desired outcomes. 

If you answered True: See it as an opportunity to be creative and explore out-of-the-box ideas to complete your goals, play with what if scenarios, brainstorm, even daydream—sometimes a small shift in thinking can create a new resource or avenue of support not previously considered. 

3) True or False: “I feel as if I have more to gain professionally through my work than I feel at risk of losing something.” 

If you answered True: You likely understand that taking risks is part of being a professional and have developed the confidence to know that a single meeting or project does not define your career. 

If you answered False: See it as an opportunity to explore what’s working, what’s going well, and what you’ve achieved, so when you do face risk, you are clear of all the past gains as well future ones to come. 

4) True or False: “The people I work with are open and collaborative—they want to share ideas and receive feedback.” 

If you answered True: You’re likely on a team where others feel empowered and where there is an elevated level of psychological safety, a cornerstone of a high functioning team, according to a study conducted at Google. 

If you answered False: See it as an opportunity to explore what your teammates are really thinking and feeling, ask questions, and be curious: conversation is the gateway to building an empowered team. 

5) True or False: “I feel energized and absorbed in what I’m doing and feel the value of achieving what I’m committed to more often than not.”  

If you answered True: You’re likely clear on your purpose and your actions are in solid alignment, and you might also be working for a leader/manager who recognizes your contributions. 

If you answered False: Begin to create awareness around what gives you energy and where you feel your contributions are valued. From there, see where this work is in or out of alignment with your values and goals and with that data, small shifts in behavior may naturally occur. 

6) True or False: “My work life feels like a house of cards—if one card falls, the house will crumble.” 

If you answered True: You likely experiencing a time of disempowerment, it might be time to create awareness around which card is most vulnerable and begin exploring options for support there. 

If you answered False: You’re likely in a time of empowerment. 

7) True or False: “I feel like my team has open, authentic conversations as needed about projects and the goings on of our work culture.” 

If you answered True: You’re likely steeped in a work culture where empowerment is a shared value. 

If you answered False: Perhaps your team is facing change, uncertainly, or the goals are not clear. Despite the turmoil, this period can also present opportunities to discuss what’s working and what’s not, allowing a chance for the team connect to some empowered moments, actions, and projects. 

[Note: This post originally appeared in Mindful Magazine] 

FacebookLinkedInShare

Doing Skills + Being Skills = Career Success

By Jae Ellard, Simple Intentions Founder and CEO

072517_NonCognitiveWhere did you learn how to adapt or how to be present? If you are like most people, you probably didn’t answer “at work”. The elements of creating a successful career are just as much about knowing how to DO the job as they are about your quality of BEING on the job.

Most of us know the steps needed to learn how to do a job. First you need basic skills; reading, writing, and math. Then you identify a career path and develop specialized skills, these skills are technical and/or occupational in nature and industry specific. Basic and specialized skills, (doing skills) are considered cognitive skills and they rely on conscious intellectual effort for success.

Next, you seek the job. This includes connecting to the right people, interviewing, and showing positive attitude. These are soft skills and they include your ability to communicate, solve problems, motivate yourself and others and build rapport. Soft skills are considered noncognitive skills as they are subconsciously expressed via your behavior through your temperament or attitude.

Ready for career success? Not quite yet. Enter being skills. Being skills include things like presence, awareness, resiliency, patience, discernment, vulnerability and authenticity. Being skills are a deeper layer of noncognitive or soft skills. As important as being skills are, they are not likely to fit into traditional training curriculum at schools or companies. Yet they are skills that are necessary for a successful career, as reported by Business Insider; and according to a recent LinkedIn Global Recruiting Trends report, they are a top hiring trend in 2017.

Programs like Daniel Goleman’s that develop emotional and social intelligence, or Marshall Rosenberg’s Nonviolent Communication are help build noncognitive skills that support the development of being skills. Company sponsored programs like Google’s Search Inside Yourself and Intel’s Awake@Intel program also teach these skills as well as consultancies like Potential Project, The Energy Project and my company Simple Intentions.

Being skills are the glue that bind specialized, basic and soft skills. To learn them you don’t need a formal training program, though the structure can be helpful for many. What is needed is the desire to enhance how you show up at work and a commitment to practice each day. There are 3 simple actions you can take to develop your being skills.

Pay attention to when you’re not paying attention

An easy and free place to start is to just notice when you are not present. At work, pay attention to when and how often your mind wanders. That’s it. Just notice and come back to the moment. A meditation practice can be helpful in building this skill, however it is not required to learn to pay attention to when you are not paying attention.

Consider your words carefully

Begin to pay attention to your words, BEFORE they leave your mouth. By considering your thoughts and word selection, if even briefly, before sharing them with others, you will begin to build the skills of discernment (‘Do I need to say this right now?’) and authenticity (‘Is this really what I want to say?’).

Be real

Practice saying, “I don’t know” when you don’t know, and “I need help” when you need help. Notice when you feel the need to know everything and do everything on your own and explore what happens when you ask for support. This will help you build the skill of vulnerability, a foundational soft skill from which trust is constructed. When you are vulnerable you invite others to do the same, thus strengthening team trust.

Career success includes both conscious intellectual effort and awareness of your temperament or attitude — the right mix of doing and being skills can not only make you more employable but also make the experience of work more enjoyable for all.

[Note: This post originally appeared in HuffPost]

FacebookLinkedInShare

It’s Time to Ghost ‘Ghosting’

By Jae Ellard, Simple Intentions Founder and CEO

070617_GhostingIf you have recently been in communication with someone and they ceased contact with you without any warning or justification, and ignored your attempts to reconnect — you’ve been ghosted. It’s a phenomenon that started in the online dating world that has been creeping its way into everyday life as an acceptable means of communication (or lack of). It’s time for us to ghost ghosting.

Most commonly ghosting occurs in relationships that use digital tools as the primary source of communication, such as text message or e-mail. Two people are in communication, when one person, for whatever reason, decides they are done with the relationship and disengages with no context or warning to the other person.

This passive-aggressive and dismissive behavior is on the way to becoming a new type of normal for navigating and managing modern relationships. It’s the equivalent of someone walking away from an in-person conversation while the other person is still talking — an act that most people know is disrespectful and would not likely do, however when done digitally it has somehow become acceptable.

This is not to say that all relationships need to go on indefinitely and that people don’t come and go out of our lives. However, this means that it’s possible to not be interested in continuing, building or deepening a relationship and be respectful of the other person at the same time.

Before you ghost on someone consider some of the following options for more respectful ways to alter the course of your relationships at work, at home and in your personal life.

Examples of ghosting at work are when people attempt to connect with clients, peers and partners and receive no acknowledgement from the recipient of the message. When we do eventually connect, it’s common to hear things like, “I have too many e-mails and didn’t see it”, “I was too busy to respond”, or the ever more common, “it must have gone into my junk folder.” If you are not interested in the transaction at hand, say so, for example, “thanks for the message, we don’t need this service at this time”, or “interesting, we will review and get back to you in a few months.” A no, a not yet, a not now are better ways of building trust and relationships than no response.

Ghosting also happens within family communication too. How many of you blow off texts from your parents (telling you they sent you an e-mail) or glance at a link from a sibling and never acknowledge it? Taking a few seconds to say — “thanks, got it”, “will look at it later”, or even to say, “text isn’t the best way to share info with me”, will go a long way in helping to support family relationships that may already be fragile.

Within friendships circles, group texts can be long and annoying so it may feel easier to ignore it then to ask to be removed, but being honest in the long run will better support the foundation of the friendship. It’s easy to take friendships for granted and ignore a message or two knowing you’ll talk soon and it will be “ok”. That said, over time little instances where a person feels disrespected by lack of communication can chip away at the foundation of a relationship.

Lastly, for dating situations where one party has decided the other isn’t a romantic match, a phone call is suggested. If one must text, a message like, “my feelings have shifted”, “I’m not in a place to continue building something with you”, or “I’ve met someone else” are a kinder, more graceful way to disengage with someone whom at one time you took a fancy to.

Ghosting (or any vague inconsistent communication for that matter) will NOT help to build, nurture or repair ANY relationship and speaks volumes about the character of the ghoster. (Think about it, when is it ever acceptable to totally dismiss another human being and would you want to be known as that person?)

Be clear about the type and quality of communication you deserve as well as the type and quality of communication (or lack of it) you put into this world. Your behavior has an impact each day on every person with which you interact. The choice is yours.

FacebookLinkedInShare

The Real Problem With E-mail

By Jae Ellard, Simple Intentions Founder and CEO

062017_EmailDespite what you may think, the real problem with e-mail has nothing to do with e-mail. The problem is not the volume of e-mail you receive. Nor is it that messages are poorly crafted, often lacking details and specific requests. The issue isn’t that subject lines are misleading and your peers don’t understand the difference between CC, BCC and TO fields. These are all annoying and unproductive aspects related to e-mail. However, “fixing”, even eliminating, these aspects won’t solve the main, mostly unspoken issue with e-mail.

The real problem with e-mail is we have forgotten there is a human being on the other side of the message. A human being seeking connection, making a request, asking for help or in some cases offering help. In our hurry to slam through our inbox and knock it off our “to do” list, the bid for human connection has become a casualty of the exchange.

E-mail has evolved into a powerful tactical and transactional tool, yet at the same time, it’s also the primary business communication tool. Which is why it makes sense that e-mail has become such a pain point — as the speed at which most people “attack” their inbox leaves plenty of missed opportunity to understand what is a transactional message and what is a bid for relationship building.

Hence the disconnect — we keep trying to solve our e-mail problems with productivity tips; when instead of color-coding, flagging or filing in folders a slew of half-way communicated messages, we could choose instead to craft a few carefully, intentionally worded communications with the purpose to connect and be of service to those on the receiving end. Sure, your inbox may be at zero, but was the information you wanted to share complete and more so, how did your message make the person/people on the other end feel?

When listening to people talk about their relationship with e-mail, many people hold a belief that e-mail isn’t part of “work”. How can it not be part of work? E-mail isn’t just something you do — it’s a chance each day, with each e-mail you write, to be the person you want to be. Each communication you craft is an opportunity to reflect what you really want to say and how you really want to show up and who you are.

What if instead of focusing on the next ten e-mails you have to “pound through”, you became fully present on the one in front of you? What if you imagined the face of the person or people on the other end of the communication looking to you for a response, guidance or acknowledgement? What if you slowed down your inbox time and really read the message and looked for the request for understanding, approval or connection?

With each e-mail you send, you have the power to make someone feel important, acknowledged, respected or heard. You also have the same power to make someone feel dismissed, disrespected or unimportant. The choice is yours for how to be in relationship with your e-mail, and with each message you send you get to make that choice again and again.

 

[Note: This post originally appeared in Thrive Global]

FacebookLinkedInShare

Are You Done Yet?

By Jae Ellard, Simple Intentions Founder and CEO

060117_areyoudoneyetWe’ve all been there. The moment you realize that you’re doing something that is not in your best interest — and then continue to do it, over and over again, sometimes for weeks, other times for years. Until one day you reach your breaking point and feel you have no other option than to make a radically different choice to end the unpleasantness you are experiencing. (Many times, this process is rather dramatic and can be also known as a breakdown, meltdown, burnout, depression or in some cases a mid-life crisis.)

If you are like most people, there is normally a huge time gap between having the awareness that what you are choosing/doing isn’t working for you, and acting to alter or stop it in order to create a future that is different from the past. And for most people, there really isn’t much in-between, it’s an all or nothing pattern: Do it until it becomes unbearable.

We are not always talking huge life issues either. It could be eating a food you know won’t agree with your belly, staying up late to watch one more episode of your new favorite show, being absorbed in your mobile device when you’re with loved ones, not expressing yourself, or staying in relationship with a toxic person or work team. The list of examples is endless.

The point is each day everyone makes a few choices that sabotage their desired outcomes. (Even the most awake, balanced people do this.) And each day you watch yourself over and over again make the same choices and have the same conversation in your head about it, “I can’t believe I ate that”, “I should have gone to bed earlier”, “Why did I keep my phone out for that”, “I wish I would have said that instead”, “I let him/her talk to me that way again”.

Then the next day, you do it all over again. Until you have a health issue, a resentment issue, a relationship issue, or until the work team dynamic becomes so bad you are driven to leave. What if it were possible to be “done” without high drama or need for drastic action? What if you could decide in advance what your breaking point is, so rather than being surprised when you reach it, you see it coming and even plan for its arrival?

What if it were as simple as asking yourself this powerful question: “Am I done yet?”

What if you could define that limit before you get there and ask yourself — what does being done look like? “I will continue to eat this until my cholesterol reaches a certain level”, “When I need 4 cups of coffee to wake up — that’s how I’ll know I stayed up too late”, “I will withhold my emotion only 100 more times”.

You know you are done when the unpleasantness of what you are experiencing is beyond tolerable. Most people fear being done, because they don’t know what’s next. The great news is that there are very few truly unique problems in this world and the odds are highly likely you are not alone being done with whatever it is you’re done with — a few conversations with others, and an internet search will likely turn up more resources to support you than feels possible. It’s like when you decide to buy a car, and then you start to see that car everywhere. When you’ve decided you’re done, resources will line your path.

A future that is different from the past starts with a single question: Are you done yet?

[Note: This post originally appeared in HuffPost]

FacebookLinkedInShare

Three Steps To Internal Activism

By Jae Ellard, Simple Intentions Founder and CEO

Internal Activism ess051817_InternalActivismentially means being the change you wish to see in the world. It is a concept that Mahatma Gandhi became known for and a teaching that Martin Luther King Jr. carried forward.   Before one can be the change they wish to see in the world, they need to understand truly what the change is they wish to be.

Sounds logical and simple, however simple doesn’t mean easy and even the logical can become confusing when the volume of information and data becomes too much to discern.  Our world is becoming increasingly more complex and there is a common desire for many things to change (and change all at once). It’s easy to become either demoralized or paralyzed with where to best focus energy and attention to be the change you wish to see.

When feeling overwhelmed, it’s tempting to get angry at people and situations and cast blame outward.  The pull toward trying to change others behavior, to get them to act or do certain things, is a powerful one, one that can lead you to use manipulative behaviors that only compound your feelings of powerlessness.  A more powerful and impactful action is to choose to change what you can change about yourself when you are engaged in situations where you desire an alternative outcome.  It is through trusting the process of taking internal, thoughtful, individual action that lasting activism is born.

Internal Activism is a process that uses the skill of awareness to help people identify the change they wish to see in the world. When individual action is created around that change, it can transform singular effort into community or global activism and shift the environments in which we live and work.  There are 3 steps to discover your path to Internal Activism.

Define It. 

What is the change you want to see in the world? Your world can be defined as your family, your work, your community, your country or even yourself.  Where do you desire a shift, a change, a new direction? In what way would you like to see your world different?  Notice the articles you read, the shows you watch, the people you talk to. What is stirring you up and making you uncomfortable? What is it that you are avoiding or ignoring? What is it that gets under your skin?  What are you ready to stop tolerating or accepting?

If you are like most people, you’ll notice more than one thing you want to change.  Start simple and pick one issue or trigger to focus on for now.  (Don’t worry about picking the “right” thing – if you care about it, it’s right for you.) For example, you might be bothered by bullying behavior at work, issues around diversity and inclusion, or people obsessed with their devices.  The size and scale of the issue doesn’t matter – only that you care about it and wish to see a different outcome.

Discern it.

Take the trigger/issue you picked and isolate it from all the others. For right now make this your focus for action.  Consider the issue from all sides.  What is it about this issue that triggers you?  How does it make you feel?  How often do you see it and where do you see it?  How do you currently respond and show up when it occurs?  Consider the desired end state for the change you wish to see. What do you want to be different?  Now make a list of the behaviors you can take to support that outcome.  What role can you play?

For example, if you picked workplace bullying, start by creating awareness around your own behaviors to determine if any of your actions could be considered bullying by other people. Perhaps some can and you were previously unaware of it. Next, notice how often it happens, where, when, who and what meetings do bullying patterns emerge?  Finally, decide the behavior you wish to model when you witness bullying in a meeting occur.  Perhaps you have a go-to phrase, “I’m interested to learn your thoughts/feelings, however, I’m not comfortable with that language in this meeting, in the future talk like that (give example) isn’t acceptable.”

Do It.

Now the hard part – putting it in action.  It’s much easier to contemplate being the change than it is to actually do it.  Being the change means you will likely upset your world in some way. Setting a boundary or addressing unacceptable behavior will cause some discomfort and maybe even some tension at the start.  The same is true with learning to undo something that you’ve noticed is a behavior that you no longer wish to do – it’s common to feel exposed at the start of being the change.

Behavior change takes time.  It also takes courage no matter how big or small the change is you wish to see – you will likely feel vulnerable at first.  Stay with it and trust that over time, the more deeply connected you are to your action, the more confidence and empowerment you will feel each time you witness yourself being the change.

The key to successfully living a life of Internal Activism is consistency in your behavior (words and actions).  Stick with the behaviors you’ve chosen and at every opportunity, be the change – offer others an example, become the presence of the possibility until it becomes as natural as breathing. Then begin again to become the next change you wish to see in the world.

[Note: This was originally published in HuffPost]

FacebookLinkedInShare