Category Archives: Awareness

Mindful Sales Journey

By Jordan WeinandFounder of Glowsoul and Friend of Simple Intentions

jeremy-beadle-129624The life of a salesperson can be a stomach pit of a rollercoaster or a Mai Tai sipping Fiji vacation. We live month to month, quarter to quarter and next thing you know, a year is up and you are examined on your sales performance. Where did that time go? What did you do in between and maybe more importantly, did you stop to reflect?

I drive eight hours to North Dakota at least twice a year. Upon putting my car into drive and then pressing down on the gas, I know my end goal. It’s to see that last mile stretch of dirt road to my aunt and uncle’s canola spread farmland.

The next eight hours, however, are a bit of a blur and unpredictable. Will I stop four or five times? Eat McDonalds or Subway and should I monitor my mileage to see what this car is really capable of? It’s a full eight-hour journey.

My aunt would always ask, “how was the trip?” Until I started being mindful, I always said, “it was fine.” But truly, it was a pandemonium-stricken traffic jam for two hours. Then it became a game of, “find the fry I dropped on the floor,” and ended with, “how I can invest in all this land,” for the next five hours. When I’m mindful, the trip was fun and I was afforded some close encounter family time!

These details in between the end goal make our total experience. Traveling on vacation or selling a couple million-dollar software deal, there’s a whole lot goin on in the middle.

In sales, it’s our daily effort from organizing customized qualification questions to ripping through 50 cold calls in order to talk to one person who’s interested in discussing election results. Being present in your sales journey makes all the difference. Prospects notice too.

For instance, when you’re at the stage of taking notes and learning what your prospect is experiencing, give these two ideas a shot.

Mindfully gather the issue

Write the proper note down and ask a few questions around it. Typically, that first issue is immediate pain, but a few questions after will give you the cascading effect. If you understand them as a whole, the prospect now knows you care. Not to mention, your particular thought to each question helps your overall understanding so you can prescribe confidently.

Feel it like it’s yours

Part of being mindful in this qualification process requires you to take a bite of the “pain pie.” We all like to be validated. We all want to be heard, check Facebook for that proof. When the prospect gives you an issue, feel it. Believe it with them. Know it DOES suck and if you can help in this process, wow, what an accomplishment we’d experience.

These two ideas occur more regularly than signing final contracts. This is the journey we’re on every sales cycle before we ever see our commission checks fatten. How fun! We’ll win some and lose more, but knowing it’s an opportunity to talk with someone who’s asking for help is enough to make me smile. Being mindful in each sales opportunity will allow you to help more people and if not, you’ll have detailed stories for happy hour. Remember the journey!

 

[Note: This article originally posted on Glowsoul]

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Rethinking the Good Life

By Joanna Fuller, Friend of Simple Intentions

Photo by Alex Holyoake via Unsplash

In 1932, at perhaps the most devastating point of the Great Depression, Helen and Scott Nearing moved from New York City to a run-down maple sugar farm in rural Vermont. No longer able to make a living in the ‘wage economy,’ they set out to subsist on the land—building a simple home from stones found on the property, growing their own food, and bartering for necessities they couldn’t produce themselves.

The Nearings chronicled their sixty-year adventure in homesteading in the book The Good Life, which later came to be regarded as the pre-eminent how-to manual for the post-WWII back-to-the-land movement in North America. In it, Helen Nearing recounts the daily routine she and Scott maintained, along with their many and frequent guests:

Each day was divided into two main blocks of time—four morning hours and four afternoon hours. At breakfast time on week-days we first looked at the weather, then asked, ‘How shall we arrange the day?’ Then by agreement we decided which of these blocks of time should be devoted to bread labor and which to personally determined activities. Of necessity the weather was the primary factor in making the decision.

Suppose that the morning was assigned for bread labor. We then agreed upon the tasks that each member of the group should take on—in the garden, in the woods, on construction, in the shop, at sugarmaking or packing. If one’s bread labor was performed in the morning, the afternoon automatically became personally directed. One might read, write, sit in the sun, walk in the woods, play music, go to town. We earned our four hours of leisure by our four hours of labor.

[…] We took our time, every day, every month, every year. We had our work, did it and enjoyed it. We had our leisure, used it and enjoyed that. During the hours of bread labor we worked and worked hard. We have never worked harder and have never enjoyed work more, because, with rare exceptions, the work was significant, self-directed, constructive and therefore interesting.

It sounds idyllic, doesn’t it? And yet there was much more to the Nearings’ motivation than a desire to step off the proverbial treadmill and lead a simpler life. Their decision to homestead was also driven by their commitment to social justice.

Scott Nearing was an accomplished economist, a professor at the Wharton School, and a devout Socialist. Eventually fired for what were considered to be highly radical views, those views formed the cornerstone of the Nearings’ lives, and livelihoods:

We left the city with three objectives in mind. The first was economic. We sought to make a depression-free living, as independent as possible of the commodity and labor markets […] Our second aim was hygienic. We wanted to maintain and improve our health […] Our third objective was social and ethical. We desired to liberate and dissociate ourselves, as much as possible, from the cruder forms of exploitation: the plunder of the planet; the slavery of man and beast; the slaughter of men in war, and of animals for food.

The Nearings believed that the so-called American way of life—centered as it was on a relentless pursuit of profit—had not only depleted the earth’s natural resources, it was also only achievable for an elite few, who benefited from a concentrated distribution of resources at the expense of an otherwise impoverished class.  In his essay The American Way of Life, written in 1949, Scott writes:

The United States is fabulously rich. It also spends more on military preparations than any other nation. Its citizens are surrounded by public enterprises, such as highways, schools and hospitals, and by privately owned gadgets—automobiles, telephones, radios, electric refrigerators. But are bigness and manyness a sound measure of success?

Eighty years later, Nearing’s question is still relevant and the need for conversation around it is more important than ever. Since then, the consumption required to achieve our American aspiration of the ‘good life,’ has only escalated. In her book The Overworked American, sociologist Juliet Schor notes that by 1990, we could produce our 1948 standard of living in just six months’ time. And yet, household debt has never been higher and leisure time—or time spent not producing—has never been lower. According to Schor, the result of this cycle of work-and-spend is that Americans feel more overworked and stressed out than ever before. All that economic growth and we’re not even happy.

But there’s a bigger problem.

If the Nearings were concerned about the planet in 1932, consider this: According to anthropologist Dr. Jason Hickel (citing a footprint from the Global Footprint Network):

Right now, our planet only has enough resources for each of us to consume 1.8 ‘global hectares’ annually—a standardised unit that measures resource use and waste. This figure is roughly what the average person in Ghana or Guatemala consumes. By contrast, people in the US and Canada consume about 8 hectares per person, while Europeans consume 4.7 hectares – many times their fair share.

Equally disturbing: Hickel reveals that the wage gap that fuels our addiction to cheap consumer goods is perpetuating global poverty and instability.

These figures aren’t meant to depress, create shame, or point fingers, rather I believe Hickel is inviting us to objectively explore what’s going on in the world around us. This isn’t about guilt or judgement, but rather an invitation to create deeper awareness around issues that affect all of us living on this planet.

Dr. Hickel goes on to lay out a persuasive argument for why it’s time to ‘de-develop’ rich nations if we’re serious about not only saving the planet, but also about ending global poverty. Moreover, he posits that de-development is not necessarily incompatible with wellbeing:

If we look at measures of overall happiness and wellbeing in addition to life expectancy, a number of low- and middle-income countries rank highly. Costa Rica manages to sustain one of the highest happiness indicators and life expectancies in the world with a per capita income one-fourth that of the US.  In light of this, perhaps we should regard such countries not as underdeveloped, but rather as appropriately developed. And maybe we need to start calling on rich countries to justify their excesses.

It’s a radical idea…or is it?

Hickel acknowledges it’s one that would require enormous political and individual will. After all, it’s not necessarily in our nature to seek a lower standard of living. But he also points out that a growing number of people in the developed world believe we need to try to reverse our habits of consumption – and that doing so might just increase our overall happiness.

Personally, I am still at the beginning stages of this journey but it’s encouraging to see the simple living movement continue to re-invent itself, with people like Joshua Becker, Dave Bruno, and Marie Kondo, to name just a few, role modeling and bearing witness to the benefits of owning and producing less. But as the Nearings knew, living simply is about much more than de-stressing or pursuing the good life for ourselves. Rather, it’s essential to live in a way that affirms the belief that our ‘good life’ should not trade on the exploitation of the earth or its people.

I’m not saying this will be an easy journey or even that any one individual living a simple life is the solution. Will moving into a tiny house or giving up my iPhone save the world? No. That will require governments and international institutions taking enormous steps in the areas of policy and economic reform. But those things won’t happen without a massive cultural shift – which starts with each of us deepening our awareness around the impact of our daily actions – and advances with each of us re-thinking what it means to live the ‘good life.’

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How Far Are You Willing To Go?

By Melisa Portela, Simple Intentions Lead Consultant: LATAM Region

061517_LimitsWe live in a society that tells us: there are no limits, you can always go for more, you can always achieve more, you can always produce more, you can get more “likes” on social media, you can lose more weight, you can have a better job, you can have a more loving partner, and the list goes on and on… And this is what I want to reflect on today: How far are you willing to go?

Sometimes we find ourselves stretching far beyond our limits and well-being, reaching a point where our relationships and health start to deteriorate. We begin to lose some quality in our lives the moment we start to race to the end of our limits – And there are many consequences along the way, our health often being one of them.

Sometimes we push ourselves beyond our limits because we might feel there is a sense of freedom associated with breaking out of the box. However, when we ignore our limits, too often we end up completely exhausted and suffering from burnout. And, by the time we realize the cost, it is sometimes already too late to prevent a significant impact.

This is why it is so important to set limits in our lives. When we don’t set appropriate boundaries for ourselves, it often may feel that others are (unintentionally) disrespecting us. When we do not know when and how to say “ENOUGH”, we feel at the mercy of others or even things (like material possessions, jobs, unhealthy routines, etc.). A lack of boundaries means we are often unable to take accountability for the events that happen in our lives. We might try to find an external cause or justification for our suffering, which sometimes leads us to resignation (ultimately, reinforcing our lack of boundaries and creating a vicious circle).

Before we can communicate boundaries to those closest to us (such as friends, family, partner/spouse, boss, coworkers, etc.), it is important to figure out for ourselves what they are. Most of us do not pay conscious attention to how, why and what boundaries we must set in order to lead the life we wish. Once you are clear on what your boundaries are, then it is time that you clearly communicate them with the people you share your life with. Remember that if those around you do not know what your needs and limits are, it gets harder for them to support you in what you seek by respecting those limits.

A boundary is like an instructional manual that you can give to yourself and to others that clearly informs what your limits are. Once you’ve done that, it becomes easy to say how far you’re willing to go – in any situation.

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I Will Turn on the Light

By Chelsea Elkins, Simple Intentions Marketing & Program Manager

060917_TurnontheLightFear can do strange things. With an electric power, it can alter reality, shift perspective, and make the strongest of us tremble. Fear can be gripping, all encompassing, and can make you feel certain of something that is just not true. Fears might be passed down from those who raised us, conditioned into us by society, or sparked by an insecurity.

The great thing is that not everything we think is true – and that includes our fears.

The tricky thing about fear is it feeds. It can feed on someone’s opinion of you, the evening news, or often your own thoughts. When someone says something unsavory about you (that some small part of you, in the back of your mind, also fears is true), does that mean it’s fact? Is your fear validated? It often feels this way, but in many ways this naysayer is simply turning on a light for you. Illuminating a negative belief you have about yourself, so that you can see it in the light for what it is. So that you can decide if it is something you truly believe.

When we shine a light on our fears, we witness them for what they are – and that can be scary. But what we end up seeing is often smaller, uglier, and much less frightening than what we once perceived (think the Harry Potter Limbo train scene). It may invoke pity or even compassion, for self or others, but it does not wield the same power. Turning on the light eradicates the uncertainty of what a fear consists of – and eliminating uncertainty itself helps diminish fear.

This is also true for someone else’s fear or anger or doubt – even if it’s aimed directly at you. Turning on the light means having the clarity of mind and self-possession to observe an emotion or fear trying to cling to you and to say “that isn’t mine” – and mean it. Even if that feeling or belief was “yours” yesterday or 5 minutes ago, you can drop it at any time. Shining a light means creating depersonalization around others’ thoughts and emotions. When someone doubts us – instead of feeding on that doubt and making it our own – remember that it does not belong to us, it is not ours, and we do not have to pick it up.

I recently learned an exercise to help me with this.

The Whiteboard Meeting.

Pick a fear or an unpleasant thought about yourself, sit down and have a meeting about it. Actually.

Visualize the uncomfortable chairs, clicky pens, stuffy conference room, the whole shebang. The exercise is to fill a whiteboard about a specific fear with your members of the board. Each board member stands for a unique belief you have about that fear, representing the diversity of thought we all have in our minds even about a single subject. (Stay with me.) Have each “board member” write on the whiteboard a unique thought related to that fear. Be specific. What is it exactly you are afraid of? At first, some of your more outspoken and historically negative board members will clamor for attention. You might be barraged with things like “I’ll fail at this because…”; “I’m not good enough”; “If I do X, I’ll lose Y”. Write them all down without judgement until these “fear thoughts” eventually run out of steam, leaving only half the whiteboard filled.

That’s when it’s time to hear from the rest of the room. What about your thoughts that stem from a place of courage, trust, empowerment? How does that change the tone of the board? Fill the rest of your whiteboard and notice the diversity of thought. The other side of the room might say things like, “I already have most of the tools and resources I need to be successful”; “My family and friends support me”; “I am enough”; “If I do X, I might lose Y but I’ll gain Z”.

When the whiteboard is filled, step back and look at everything together. This is it. All your thoughts on the matter. And, without shame or judgement, observe which thoughts have gaps in logic, which thoughts are empowering, which thoughts are operating from a place of insecurity. What on the board, after seeing it in the light, do you genuinely believe? What do you want to be true? Through observing the many realities your mind sees as possible, you will discover that while the fear thoughts can often feel like the only reality or truth, there are actually many truths to choose from. And you have the power to do just that, choose. To say thanks but no thanks to the fear thoughts and say yes to what’s on the other side.

This exercise can be as literal or figurative as you want. Use post-its and fill up a wall. Write in a journal. Use your imagination. Where different tiny hats and talk in accents. This is your party, as they say. The Whiteboard Meeting can help answer the question of what beliefs about yourself you want to let go – and which you need to actively choose again and again.

The saying “if you’re not scared then your goals are not big enough” has long intrigued me. But I realize now that the phrase is only half complete. Because for every part of you that is scared, there is another that is thrilled, delighted to rise up to the challenge. To truly complete the phrase, I know I must only turn on the light.

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Are You Done Yet?

By Jae Ellard, Simple Intentions Founder and CEO

060117_areyoudoneyetWe’ve all been there. The moment you realize that you’re doing something that is not in your best interest — and then continue to do it, over and over again, sometimes for weeks, other times for years. Until one day you reach your breaking point and feel you have no other option than to make a radically different choice to end the unpleasantness you are experiencing. (Many times, this process is rather dramatic and can be also known as a breakdown, meltdown, burnout, depression or in some cases a mid-life crisis.)

If you are like most people, there is normally a huge time gap between having the awareness that what you are choosing/doing isn’t working for you, and acting to alter or stop it in order to create a future that is different from the past. And for most people, there really isn’t much in-between, it’s an all or nothing pattern: Do it until it becomes unbearable.

We are not always talking huge life issues either. It could be eating a food you know won’t agree with your belly, staying up late to watch one more episode of your new favorite show, being absorbed in your mobile device when you’re with loved ones, not expressing yourself, or staying in relationship with a toxic person or work team. The list of examples is endless.

The point is each day everyone makes a few choices that sabotage their desired outcomes. (Even the most awake, balanced people do this.) And each day you watch yourself over and over again make the same choices and have the same conversation in your head about it, “I can’t believe I ate that”, “I should have gone to bed earlier”, “Why did I keep my phone out for that”, “I wish I would have said that instead”, “I let him/her talk to me that way again”.

Then the next day, you do it all over again. Until you have a health issue, a resentment issue, a relationship issue, or until the work team dynamic becomes so bad you are driven to leave. What if it were possible to be “done” without high drama or need for drastic action? What if you could decide in advance what your breaking point is, so rather than being surprised when you reach it, you see it coming and even plan for its arrival?

What if it were as simple as asking yourself this powerful question: “Am I done yet?”

What if you could define that limit before you get there and ask yourself — what does being done look like? “I will continue to eat this until my cholesterol reaches a certain level”, “When I need 4 cups of coffee to wake up — that’s how I’ll know I stayed up too late”, “I will withhold my emotion only 100 more times”.

You know you are done when the unpleasantness of what you are experiencing is beyond tolerable. Most people fear being done, because they don’t know what’s next. The great news is that there are very few truly unique problems in this world and the odds are highly likely you are not alone being done with whatever it is you’re done with — a few conversations with others, and an internet search will likely turn up more resources to support you than feels possible. It’s like when you decide to buy a car, and then you start to see that car everywhere. When you’ve decided you’re done, resources will line your path.

A future that is different from the past starts with a single question: Are you done yet?

[Note: This post originally appeared in HuffPost]

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Change the Peg

By Larry Ward, Senior Dharma Teacher at The Lotus Institute and Friend of Simple Intentions

052517_ChangethePeg_LarryWhen we train our intention to focus on our states of mind, we cultivate our residual awareness. Neuroscience would say this practice is about taking charge of directing our own neuroplasticity. We are intentionally deciding (literally) how our brains are shaped, and how our nervous systems function – as much as we as individuals can influence that.

To achieve this, we must be constantly attempting to master 3 things in our mind:

– Awareness of what’s happening in our minds
– Learning how to shape our minds
– Willingness to liberate ourselves from our mind’s tendencies to cling and grasp

There are many variations of the meaning of “mind” – but the most important meaning of mind is state of mind. Where is your mind right now? What state is your mind in?

To answer that we first must know what a state of mind is. A state of mind includes several things. It includes images of ourselves and images of our world; it includes emotional tones, like a mood; and it includes questions that inevitably come up in different states of mind, these questions change depending on what the state is. Two states of mind to be aware of are the high mind and the narrow mind.

When the highest mind is there (this can also be called an empowered state of mind or being), we feel happy, we feel open, we feel generous. But when the narrow (or disempowered) mind is in control, we feel the opposite.

One way to change your state of mind is called “changing the peg”. If the radio show playing in you’re mind right now is causing you pain and suffering, change the channel. It takes skill to change the peg because so many of our disempowered mental states are often seductive and encompassing. Create a list of things you know can help you change the channel or change the state of your mind. All of us need a list, a specific one – just like the subconscious checklist you use to get dressed every morning. Get dressed for your life. Get dressed to be awake. Make sure you have the tools you need so you don’t confuse the clouds with the blue sky, the birds with the trees. So you don’t confuse being the Inn Keeper with the guest. Change the peg.

States of mind aren’t permanent but consist of a flowing energy coming through. But it’s so easy to think it’s permanent. It’s so easy to latch on to a state of being, to have that define us, to see everything through that lens. Everything we see becomes amplified, larger than life – and drives us in a certain direction of thought, speech, and behavior.

A large part of being able to change our state of mind is being able to receive what life gives us –  without pretending that’s not what we got. My peace is not because I don’t have suffering. Peace comes from attending to our suffering without pretending it’s not there, attending to the suffering of society without pretending it’s not there.

Think about what it means to be at home with your family, friends, and neighbors. If you cannot change your state of mind, you have to figure out how to embrace it. This means figuring out how to be bigger than our experiences. The calmer we are (like when we are at home with loved ones), the easier it is to hold our experience. This is cultivation. This is being a good internal gardener. By preparing yourself to receive different states of mind, even when they are low or disempowered.

And if you can’t shift out or “change the channel” – ask for help. Just that act may help you change the peg.

 

This content is an excerpt from Larry’s recorded Dharma Talk Cultivating Liberation and Awareness of the Mind, it has been condensed and edited for written format. Watch Larry’s entire Dharma Talk here.

 

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Three Steps To Internal Activism

By Jae Ellard, Simple Intentions Founder and CEO

Internal Activism ess051817_InternalActivismentially means being the change you wish to see in the world. It is a concept that Mahatma Gandhi became known for and a teaching that Martin Luther King Jr. carried forward.   Before one can be the change they wish to see in the world, they need to understand truly what the change is they wish to be.

Sounds logical and simple, however simple doesn’t mean easy and even the logical can become confusing when the volume of information and data becomes too much to discern.  Our world is becoming increasingly more complex and there is a common desire for many things to change (and change all at once). It’s easy to become either demoralized or paralyzed with where to best focus energy and attention to be the change you wish to see.

When feeling overwhelmed, it’s tempting to get angry at people and situations and cast blame outward.  The pull toward trying to change others behavior, to get them to act or do certain things, is a powerful one, one that can lead you to use manipulative behaviors that only compound your feelings of powerlessness.  A more powerful and impactful action is to choose to change what you can change about yourself when you are engaged in situations where you desire an alternative outcome.  It is through trusting the process of taking internal, thoughtful, individual action that lasting activism is born.

Internal Activism is a process that uses the skill of awareness to help people identify the change they wish to see in the world. When individual action is created around that change, it can transform singular effort into community or global activism and shift the environments in which we live and work.  There are 3 steps to discover your path to Internal Activism.

Define It. 

What is the change you want to see in the world? Your world can be defined as your family, your work, your community, your country or even yourself.  Where do you desire a shift, a change, a new direction? In what way would you like to see your world different?  Notice the articles you read, the shows you watch, the people you talk to. What is stirring you up and making you uncomfortable? What is it that you are avoiding or ignoring? What is it that gets under your skin?  What are you ready to stop tolerating or accepting?

If you are like most people, you’ll notice more than one thing you want to change.  Start simple and pick one issue or trigger to focus on for now.  (Don’t worry about picking the “right” thing – if you care about it, it’s right for you.) For example, you might be bothered by bullying behavior at work, issues around diversity and inclusion, or people obsessed with their devices.  The size and scale of the issue doesn’t matter – only that you care about it and wish to see a different outcome.

Discern it.

Take the trigger/issue you picked and isolate it from all the others. For right now make this your focus for action.  Consider the issue from all sides.  What is it about this issue that triggers you?  How does it make you feel?  How often do you see it and where do you see it?  How do you currently respond and show up when it occurs?  Consider the desired end state for the change you wish to see. What do you want to be different?  Now make a list of the behaviors you can take to support that outcome.  What role can you play?

For example, if you picked workplace bullying, start by creating awareness around your own behaviors to determine if any of your actions could be considered bullying by other people. Perhaps some can and you were previously unaware of it. Next, notice how often it happens, where, when, who and what meetings do bullying patterns emerge?  Finally, decide the behavior you wish to model when you witness bullying in a meeting occur.  Perhaps you have a go-to phrase, “I’m interested to learn your thoughts/feelings, however, I’m not comfortable with that language in this meeting, in the future talk like that (give example) isn’t acceptable.”

Do It.

Now the hard part – putting it in action.  It’s much easier to contemplate being the change than it is to actually do it.  Being the change means you will likely upset your world in some way. Setting a boundary or addressing unacceptable behavior will cause some discomfort and maybe even some tension at the start.  The same is true with learning to undo something that you’ve noticed is a behavior that you no longer wish to do – it’s common to feel exposed at the start of being the change.

Behavior change takes time.  It also takes courage no matter how big or small the change is you wish to see – you will likely feel vulnerable at first.  Stay with it and trust that over time, the more deeply connected you are to your action, the more confidence and empowerment you will feel each time you witness yourself being the change.

The key to successfully living a life of Internal Activism is consistency in your behavior (words and actions).  Stick with the behaviors you’ve chosen and at every opportunity, be the change – offer others an example, become the presence of the possibility until it becomes as natural as breathing. Then begin again to become the next change you wish to see in the world.

[Note: This was originally published in HuffPost]

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